Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
