wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
