After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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