my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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