He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
