You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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