We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
