I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
