What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dignity is for republicans.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
