Little spoons don't ask big questions
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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