no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
