The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
