You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
