Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
