ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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