we have pet lesbian snakes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
me + whiskey = a bad person
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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