If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
