Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
