I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
