): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
