Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
