So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
