Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
