Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize