she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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