Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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