Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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