Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
two words...techno handjob
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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