I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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