now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
