I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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