my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
