You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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