Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
