were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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