we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
