everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
