Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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