i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
