she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
