Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
