You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
