its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize