My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
