i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He better not be in your backpack
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
