the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
