Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
