Christians are straight up FREAKS
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
