Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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