the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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