I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
