You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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