Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We have started to decorate penises.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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