I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
