i just had sex bonerless
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
