so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
