oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
