i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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